Rock Stars Don't Make Pancakes - Post secret contest
by MaxieMoose
Summary: A small Roskstarward one shot I did for the Post Secret challenge. I liked it, but it didn't place. I never posted it so I thought I'd share it.


**Twilight Post Secret Challenge**

Number of Secret Chosen: #24

Pen-name: MaxieMoose

Title: Rock Stars Don't Make Pancakes

Word Count: 4,004

Beta: ohmyitsv

Rating: M

Pairing: Bella/Edward, Edward POV

Summary: Edward got everything he ever wanted. However, along the way he lost the girl he loved and her magic banana pancakes. Can he give up the rock star lifestyle and get his family back, or is it too late?

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight. But she is a rock star and lets us all play in her sandbox.

I feel a warm body. My mind races, my head feels like someone stomped on it, and my mouth is dry as the Sahara. Bella? Could it be her? Was she here? Or, I was dreaming again and my mind was fucking with me?

"Hey, do you have any smokes?" A raspy voice asks.

Yeah, definitely not my Bella. I had to stop with the coke – it was messing with my head.

I open my eyes to the plastic Barbie doll lying next to me. Fuck, another lay I don't remember. I sit up and the pounding of my head triples.

I look around to confirm, and thankfully, there is a discarded used condom in the wastebasket and a wrapper on the floor. At lease when I'm jacked up and drowning my sorrows in band groupies, I wrap Mr. Winky up nice and tight.

I can't help but smile at the memories of the ridiculous name Bella gave my dick, Mr. Winky. I missed Bella and Vannie.

"Oh, a smile for me?" The obnoxious blonde in my bed rubs her hands over my chest. "Yes, lover, last night rocked. It was good for me too. How about an encore, Mr. Super Rock Star, Edward Cullen?"

"Get out." I didn't have patience for the tramp when I was sober.

She pouted, straddled my lap and stuck her fake boobs in my face. "But, I want to fuck you. You were an amazing lover."

I pushed her off me. I was ready to kill someone and she was about to be the unlucky target. The pain in my head was wearing my patience thin.

"I said to get out," I spat firmly as I stumble to take a piss.

The blonde huffs and gets out of bed. "Fine, but you'll be sorry and miss this body tomorrow night, when you need someone to keep you warm." She motions over her fake skinny body. I look away annoyed

She mutters obscenities as she stomps to the other bathroom with the little bit of clothing she was wearing. Thankfully, she leaves quickly.

I smoke on the balcony and try to remember what city we played in last night. Seeing the ocean triggers it. "Oh, right. Miami."

Bella always liked Florida. I wonder if her mom still lives here.

I pick up the phone to get the day started.

"Seth, I'll be down in twenty. I want to try the diner down the street this time," I tell him.

"Edward, James said it would require too much security. Plus, he wants to eat in the hotel," Seth says in his chipper voice.

Why the hell is he always so chipper?

"I don't give a flying monkey fuck what James said. I'm the boss, I pay the bills, so we're going down the street to the diner. If James has a fucking issue with this, then tell him he's fired!" I scream into the phone.

"Sure, Edward. Sorry." Seth sounds crest fallen.

Fuck, the kid was too nice for the likes of me. "I'm sorry, Seth, but you know my ritual."

"No worries, and yeah, I know the drill."

It sounded like he was putting his hand over the phone and was talking to someone else. "Sorry. Um, James said it's not a problem. We'll be by to get you in twenty minutes."

"Good, I'll be ready. Bye." I hang up and head to the bathroom to shit, shower and shave.

After we settle into the diner, I order my standard, bacon, eggs, hash browns, and sourdough toast. Seth gets his usual, plus the diner's banana pancakes.

Everyone digs into their food except for me and Seth. My leg bounces in anticipation, although in my heart I knew that the pancakes wouldn't be as good as my Bella's. I'm obsessed with finding banana pancakes as good as hers. Even though, I swore to her I would never eat anyone else's pancakes, that hers were the best in the world. It's one of many lies I have told her, lies that tear me apart with regret.

During all my travels, Seth and I try every morning to find banana pancakes as good as Bella's. Thus far, nothing compares. Maybe if I find some that are as good, I can eat them and feel close to her, to Vannie, to everything I lost.

My mouth swims with anticipation as Seth takes a big bite. He nods a little, but then frowns and mouths, 'sorry.' He had eaten Bella's pancakes a lot and these did not stack up. Fuck!

I threw my napkin on the table in frustration. I knew it was useless; I could never eat banana pancakes again unless Bella made them. I'd fucked up that relationship enough. I'm sure Bella won't ever talk to me again, let alone make her special pancakes for me.

After another failed breakfast experiment, I was tense like a stretched rubber band. I barely touched my food. I was rubbing my eyes roughly with my palms when Demetri, that fucker, opened his mouth.

He was new to the tour – an equipment guy – and he was a douche. "So, Seth, what's the deal? Why do you always get two breakfasts and only eat one?"

Everyone looked away. The table got silent.

"Uh…" Seth looked at me and I shook my head. This douche did not need to know my business.

"Let it drop, man." James gave him a stern look in warning, but the fucker did not shut up about it.

After a few minutes, I snapped and slammed his head into the table. "Shut the fuck up before I snap your neck," I warned him.

"Edward, chill, you're causing a scene." I let the fucker go. He gasped for air, but at least he was not running his trap anymore.

Silence loomed around the table and I knew I had to control my temper. I used a technique Dr. Banner taught me. I thought back to a good memory, something that would bring me peace. Something that happened in our lives before things got so fucked up. Something before I became Edward Cullen, the rock star.

###

_I crossed my arms and watched as Bella, my own personal sun, shook her booty to the tunes of Van Morrison while finishing the pancakes._

_Her hair was piled on her head in a messy bun. She had on my worn out Green Day concert t-shirt. Her perfect ass shook as she sang into a substitute microphone – a spatula. As her tiny hips swayed to the music, I saw the tip of her bare ass and Mr. Winky, the ridiculous name Bella gave my cock, perked up like the unpredictable prairie dog he was._

_The sight in front of me was the best thing I've seen in my life. The only thing that could enhance it would be a baby, our baby, sitting off to the side watching her mother cook me those fucking magical, delicious banana pancakes. _

_The thought of Bella's stomach swollen carrying our child made me grin like a fucking lunatic. Yes, a baby. I preferred a daughter, but the sex really didn't matter as long as it was healthy and had Bella's eyes. That little addition to the scene before me would be a welcome enhancement._

_Not being able to resist any longer, I snuck up on her and enveloped her body, wrapping my arms around her thighs and snuggling into her neck. I dragged my hands up her legs to her neatly groomed pussy. She knew how I liked my pussy at breakfast – sans panties and nicely groomed. Actually, if we were in private, I forbade my girl to wear panties ever. I palmed her sex and kissed my favorite spot behind her ear._

_I was so close to her, I could feel her whole body move just slightly from the huge smile on her face. "Good morning, baby. Hungry?" She asked in her angelic voice._

_I made sure she pulled the last of the pancakes off the griddle pan and turned off the gas before I stuck one finger into her and massaged her clit with my thumb. She whimpered and leaned into me._

"_Yes, I am hungry." I growled into her ear before I added another finger, thrusting into her._

"_Edward, the food…" She simpered._

"_Baby, it will be just as good in five minutes after I fuck you."_

_She turned around and graced me with a sexy grin. With expert skill, she jumped up and wrapped her legs around my hips. I immediately felt the warmth of her center. If possible, Mr. Winky got harder and I couldn't contain my moan._

"_Five minutes? You, an almost famous rock star, will only last five minutes?"_

_I ground my painfully hard dick into her. "When Mr. Winky hits the promise land, his ego is shot and he can't help but bust at the seams."_

_Bella giggled and my mouth opened in shock. "You, missy, should not laugh at me, and especially at Mr. Winky. We might cut you off."_

_She rubbed against me as I backed her onto our tiny kitchen counter. A traitor moan escaped out of my mouth._

_She gave me a coy smile then pulled off the Green Day t-shirt, exposing her beautiful body. "Oh really? Have you consulted with Mr. Winky? I am not sure he would be on the same page as you."_

_I kissed her neck and thrust a painfully hard Mr. Winky into her core. The thin material of my boxer briefs allowed me to feel all of her. She hissed as I continued my circuit of circle, kiss, thrust. Hah, take that you one-eyed snake charmer, magical pussy. Of course, Mr. Winky, a.k.a. the traitor, was begging to be buried into Bella's voodoo magic pussy._

"_Need…you…now," Bella panted as she struggled to get my boxers down. Mr. Winky sprung out and I slammed into her. Bella and I groaned in unison._

"_Fuck, baby, I'll never get tired of this. This voodoo magic pussy is only for me." Bella's head banged against our dingy white kitchen cabinet, her back arched and begged me to suck on her pert nipples._

"_Did you hear me, baby? Only for me. Say it, baby, tell me…" I pleaded. No matter how secure I was in our relationship, I begged her to reaffirm her love for me. That she belonged to me and only me._

_She panted and moaned as I thrust into her. I took her right nipple in my mouth while my hand gave the left one some love._

"_Say it..." I mumbled around her rosy nipple._

"_Oh god, baby, yours…I'm yours – always."_

_I felt my balls tighten and the familiar euphoria clench through my lower abdomen. I wanted to last longer, but I could tell Bella was close. I knew her body so well. I played her like my favorite piano._

"_That's right, baby, ugh!" I sped up, pushing us towards the cliff of ecstasy. "I'm yours… and you're mine – always."_

_Bella had her eyes shut. She could never keep them open when she was this close to exploding around me. With my words and my declaration, she opened them._

_Her jaw was slack, and her eyes strained to stay open. With each thrust, her moans increased, my balls got tighter and her tits bounced closer to her chin._

"_Always, baby…oh fuck…Edward!" Bella screamed as she threw her head back._

_Seconds later, I found my own release and exploded into her._

_My eyes clamped shut, stars shot behind my closed lids, my cock pulsed in the best way and I rested my head on her shoulder._

_Bella and I were both panting from our intense orgasms. We starting rubbing tiny sweet caresses on each other's bodies, she tried to stand, but I held onto her knowing she would be a little wobbly._

"_That was a good wake up call." Bella hummed with a euphoric smile on her face. I wasn't sure which was my favorite, her face when she came or the glow of her face after. I hugged her and buried my nose in her hair. _

_Inhaling her always gave me the best high. My system welcomed the familiar and comforting scent. How she could smell so good after sleeping next to my sweaty and smelling ass was beyond me._

"_I want to wake up that way for the rest of my life." If we could hang onto the magic we had, I would be the happiest fucker around._

_Bella hugged me and I felt her nod into my chest. I knew something was wrong._

_I gently took her chin in my fingers and forced her to look at me. Her beautiful brown eyes glossed over with unshed tears._

"_Baby, what's wrong?"_

_She sniffled, shook her head and hid her face in my chest._

_I pulled up my boxers. No need to fret over the mess. I would be showering soon. I picked up my girl bridal style and carried her to one of the two kitchen chairs._

_I rubbed her back. "Bella, baby, what's going on?"_

_Her eyes met mine and the look in them haunted me. "We're graduating today." She pouted._

"_And that makes you sad?"_

_She shrugged and played with a string on my boxers. I bent over and reached for her t-shirt. If she stayed naked, I would have to make love to her again and I really needed to understand what was upsetting her._

"_Baby, talk to me," I begged her as she put my t-shirt back on._

_She shrugged again, but this time looked at me. At that moment, seeing that haunted look in her beautiful brown eyes, I swore I would never intentionally do anything to make her sad. Mr. Winky and I secretly vowed to protect her for the rest of our days._

"_Well, after today everything will change. Today we graduate college, tomorrow you and the band meet with James and the music execs," she reiterated the obvious._

"_Baby, that is not a bad thing. I – no, _we – _" I gestured between the two of us – "– have been waiting almost four years for this music exec meeting."_

"_I know, but…" She trailed off._

"_But what, baby?" Why was this a bad thing, I still didn't get it._

"_What if you get famous and we don't make it." She looked down at my lap again and played with the same boxer string._

_What? "Baby, look at me."_

_She looked up, her tortured eyes cutting me to the core. "Baby, it's you and me. Together always, remember?" She blinked, but wasn't nodding._

"_Baby, please tell me you still want this. This rock star wife lifestyle. It's not too late. I can still go to medical school like my – "_

_Bella put her tiny fingers over my mouth. "Yes, baby, I still want that. However, I have my master's program and I'm afraid the distance will be too much. I mean, how many rock stars stay married to their wives. Especially ones they started dating when they were eighteen." I hate how she compared us to other people._

"_Bella, don't compare us to anyone else. It's you and me, us – always. And _us_ is what matters to me." I rubbed Bella's tummy and gave her my crooked grin, the one I knew she couldn't resist. "Well, and anyone else that may come along."_

_She swatted my hand away. "Edward Cullen, you are not getting me knocked up before you record an album and tour the world." She gave me a mischievous grin. I was grateful the tormented eyes were gone._

"_Why not? The baby can come on tour with us."_

"_What about school, my masters program, and then a Ph. D?"_

"_Bella, you won't need to work. James said the deal he's negotiated is worth millions."_

"_Edward, how can you say that? You know how much getting my degree means to me." Shit, shit, shit._

_I rubbed her back and pulled her a little closer, "I know, baby, and I am sorry. I'll support you, no matter what you do. I just want you to know you have options. I love you and I am going to be here for you – always."_

"_Edward, I have five more years, at least. Best case, I finish my masters and Ph. D schooling in four years and one year to do my dissertation."_

_I nod, my throat tight, the impact of what she was saying weighing me down._

"_When you were going to medical school and then your residency, our schedules aligned. But now…"_

_We needed to drop all of this heavy shit. I had pancakes to eat._

"_Bella, this is a happy time. We're graduating, we're about to enter into a record deal. The world is our stage. Let's get through this week, then summer, then let's worry about all of the heavy shit."_

"_But – " This time I put my fingers to her soft lips and shushed her._

"_No buts. I love you. Nothing will change that. Ever! I'm not Tommy Lee, thank the good Lord for that, and you are definitely not Pamela. I don't care what other rock stars did. We are us and we will be together – always."_

"_Always," she agreed. "Oh, and you are like Tommy Lee in some areas." Bella rubbed Mr. Winky through the thin material of my underwear. Damn her and her magic pussy. Mr. Winky was hungry again. Fuck him, Mr. Edward is getting his pancakes. Mr. Winky can wait._

_I pushed her hand away. "Stop that, woman. Mr. Winky was fed so he can wait. I want my pancakes." I beat my hand on my chest like a cave man._

_She saluted me and rushed up to heat up my food._

_Like everything Bella did, she had the table set perfectly. A flower, a linen napkin, juice, coffee and the most delicious banana pancakes in the world. I called them 'cracky cakes'. I swear she put crack in them to get them to taste so good._

_I ate, moaning, as I shoved the food in my mouth._

"_Good?" Bella asked, fighting a smile._

"_You have no fucking idea. I have tried my hardest, made it a life mission to find pancakes as good as yours, and I swear they don't exist. You, future Mrs. Cullen, make the fucking best banana pancakes ever."_

"_Thanks." She fucking blushed and bit her lip. I loved it when my girl did that._

"_So, are you ever going to tell me what you do to them to make them taste so good?" I wonder if her voodoo magic pussy somehow helped make the magic pancakes._

"_It's my secret, baby. But I promise I will only ever make the magic banana pancakes for you, always you, Edward." She gave me a tender look, and my heart actually quivered._

_She got up and put our empty plates in the sink, then came over and ruffled my hair. "Besides, silly, I can't tell you. Rock stars don't make pancakes."_

"_Almost rock star," I corrected._

"_Well, after tomorrow you'll be a rock star." The thought of that played with my head. Life had a way of fucking with me so I couldn't get excited. After tomorrow, if things didn't get jacked up, I would allow myself to get excited. _

_I knew no matter what life brought me, I would never be without my girl. Her and her magic pussy could keep all their secrets, as long as she was with me – always._

###

Everyone started to stand and I was pulled from my happy thoughts. A wonderful memory when life was simple, when it was just my girl and me, before I signed my life to the chains of a record label and fucked everything up.

Charlotte and Peter, Jasper's brother and his wife, ran into the diner. They were frantic. They looked like hell, like they'd partied with Ozzie Osborne all night and then were forced to watch his marathon show on TV for twelve hours.

"Edward…James…we need you," Peter panted. Fuck, I was out of shape, but this fucker looked like he was going to die from the short jog between the hotel and the diner.

Charlotte rolled her eyes, frustrated at her out of breath husband. "It's Alice and Jasper. They overdosed last night. We're on our way to University hospital, the ambulance already left!" The two of them rushed out of the diner, leaving us behind.

I was frozen in shock. Thankfully, Seth's cool head kicked into place. He ordered the staff back to the hotel and called the limo for James, him and me.

As we drove to the hospital, my mind raced with worry. James called my dad. He was going to call the attending over Alice and Jasper's cases and get the real story, doctor to doctor. Seth called Jasper and Alice's families and I had only one job. I had to make one call.

I picked up my phone and dialed the number by heart. I had to call Bella, my wife, or estranged wife. I had fucked that up like everything else in my life.

"Edward?" Bella asked hesitantly as she picked up the phone on the third ring.

"Bella, I need you. Jasper and Alice…" I chocked on a sob as Bella's frantic voice rang in my ear peppering me with questions.

I couldn't talk; the reality of what mine and Jasper's life had become weighed on me. I handed the phone to Seth to explain.

Once Seth was done, he handed the phone back to me. "Bella wants to talk to you."

"Edward, I'm heading to Sea-Tac now. I'll be on the next plane," Bella said in a small, sad voice.

"Vannie?" I wanted to see my little girl. It had been too long.

Bella sighed. "She's staying with my dad and Sue."

"Bella, I want to see her." I begged.

"Edward, she's been in Forks this whole time. You could have seen her every day for the last two years." Bella's tone was harsh. "Look, we'll talk about you seeing her again when I get there, but, Edward, I'm not dragging my baby girl across the country since your best friends overdosed on heroine last night."

"Bella, you told me to stay away. And they are _our_ best friends," I said roughly. Alice and Jasper, I know, haven't been close to Bella in awhile, but at one time the four of us were inseparable.

Bella huffed. I could imagine the annoyed look she had on her beautiful face. A look I put there many times. "No, Edward, I never told you to stay away from our daughter. I said if your music, band, whores and drugs were more important than coming to things like your daughter's first birthday, then maybe it would be best if you stayed away. I can't have you breaking my baby girl's heart, like you broke mine…"

"Bella, I'm sorry…for a lot of things. I'd like to talk, explain…fuck! I fucked up Bella. I love you and Vannie, so much. I don't know how it all got so fucked up. How did it get so fucked up, Bella?" I felt wet on my face and realized I was crying. Fuck!

"I'll get there as soon as I can, Edward. I think we need to talk too…about a few things."

Yes, I wanted her back and I was leaving this life. I wanted my family. "Okay. I'll see you soon. And Bella, I love you – always."

"Good bye, Edward. I'll text you and Seth the details when I get a flight." She didn't return my declaration for the first time since – well, ever. Fuck! I needed Bella and Vannie. I knew what I had to do.

"James, we need to talk." I was quitting the band. I just hope it wasn't too late. I needed my family back.

_A/N: Thanks for reading. Please leave a review with your thoughts._

_Please check out all the other entries for the __**Twilight Post Secret Challenge**__. Voting opens 12/2 through 12/12. Winners will be announced on December 14th._

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